Ki-Do Karate 20 Years Ago
 
This June Ki-Do Karate will be celebrating 20 years of providing martial art instruction in the Highland area. Ki-Do Karate focuses on personal development, helping students achieve Black Belt Excellence. David Daiber, Master Instructor, reminisces, “As I look back on the last 20 years, I think about the many students that I have taught and how they have changed my life for the better. I hope that I have had a positive impact on their lives as well. Although I could name many, many students who have truly touched my life, there was one student in particular that forever changed my teaching style, as well as my life.
 
In order to protect his identity, I will just call this young man "Timmy." Timmy was an 8 year old student that I taught many years ago, but I can still remember when I first met him. Right away, I noticed Timmy had low self-esteem. He wouldn’t make eye contact and would barely speak. I could see the fear and doubt in his eyes as his parents spoke with me about signing him up for classes. I could tell that they were loving parents and very concerned about their son. They both asked a lot of questions about our program. I remember telling them that I thought that we could help Timmy, even though I had some concerns myself based on my observations. I was willing to give it a try even though Timmy was not like my other students.
 
Timmy’s first class was a struggle, for me and for him. I struggled out of a lack of experience and he struggled out of a lack of confidence. I could see the many reasons for his low self-esteem. He was big for his age and a little overweight, both effecting his coordination and balance. His physical strength didn’t match his body size at all. On top of all of that, Timmy also had difficulty with focus and concentration. I quickly fell into what I now call “Drill Sergeant Mode,” just as I was taught. This "make or break "teaching style was all that I knew and I could see Timmy physically shriveling up and withdrawing emotionally. I backed off Timmy for the rest of that class. I felt bad because at that moment I knew I was not helping him at all. Timmy did complete his first class, much to my surprise. I congratulated him afterwards while he was waiting for his parents to pick him up. He quickly opened up to me and shared about his life. Why? I thought. He had a horrible class. Why would he open up to me now? Soon, his parents came into pick Timmy up. They asked him how it went and he just shrugged. Timmy went out to the car with his dad while his mom stayed behind to talk with me. I was tactful, but honest, and I noticed a tear in her eye as she left. I thought that would be the last time I would see them. I felt horrible inside and I was terribly disappointed in myself.
 
I was not expecting Timmy to show up for his next class, but there he was in his gi(karate uniform). I was shocked, but I gave him a lot of credit for coming back. His second class was almost an exact repeat of his first class, but, again, I praised him for his effort in class and I spoke with him afterward as he again shared personal details about his life, including how kids had been picking on him at school. That night I went home and talked with my wife about Timmy. She helped me realize that he was responding to the positive attention he was getting after class. So, I decided to try and become more positive with him during class.
 
When Timmy arrived for his third class, I immediately went over and started talking with him, trying to be positive. I could see him straightening up a little as he held his head higher, but then it was time to start class. During the first part of the class I could see Timmy curling up again. I felt myself starting to think negatively, but then I remembered to try my new approach. So, I watched Timmy like a hawk, looking for something to be positive about. Finally, I saw something Timmy was doing better than anyone else in class. I stopped class and called Timmy to the front. I think I scared him half to death, wondering what he had done wrong. I announced to the class that there was one thing Timmy was doing that everyone else forgot. I saw Timmy straightening up with surprise. I explained, Timmy was the only one who was bending both knees in his stance. I had Timmy demonstrate his stance to the class and I remember the look on his face as he stepped into a near perfect position with his knees bent and then, slowly, I noticed his back straighten up into a more confident posture. It was the first time he held his head up high during class, maybe the first time in a long time that he had held his head up that high anywhere. I had the other students match his stance. His face shined with pride. Sure Timmy continued to struggle from time to time, but with sincere praise for his good attempts, he was motivated to keep working hard. As his physical skill grew, so did his confidence. Timmy continued with our program for several years and I got the pleasure to see him grow into an outstanding young man.
 
Over time Timmy's mom shared with me that the bullying at school had stopped. Timmy was no longer so withdrawn and socially awkward, but much more social and outgoing. She was so pleased in the changes in her son and gave our program a lot of the credit for helping him realize his potential. What she may never have known, though, is that Timmy taught me as much as we taught him. He taught me that we cannot expect all students to start at our level, but we must meet each student where he or she is and provide the structure, instruction, and motivation needed to help them become successful. Often building rapport and providing positive motivation is the key to reaching individual students. As my instructor, Master Chuck Cadell, once told me, "A great instructor serves his students."
 
I have learned that teaching the physical skill of the martial arts is not what drives me. It is reaching out to those students who might struggle in other areas, who may not have the confidence to try-out for a team, or lack the focus to be successful in school, that gives me the passion to do what I do. It is my belief that true martial arts is about improving lives by building self-esteem, self-control, concentration, and confidence.
 
Throughout my twenty years of martial arts instruction, I have been blessed with many students like Timmy, students who have blossomed into dedicated students and wonderful citizens in our community. I get great joy and satisfaction when I encounter a student who benefits from our specialized program and carries the results with him throughout all aspects of his life. To this day, I still credit "Timmy" for helping me to build the core focus of Ki-Do Karate. By building self-esteem, discipline and focus, we develop the whole person, not just their physical abilities.